Guilt, frustration, feelings of failure. Can I cry now?!
These are some of the feelings we often experience as mothers. Society speaks such a pressured message of perfection. I find myself believing this message sometimes. It seems that social media convinces us we should be able to be the schedule maker, cook, coach, instructor, mom boss MOM.
Just typing this makes me want to cry.
What if just “being” is enough and doing is the cream on your cup of “mom-tea” ? Would your feelings of guilt, frustration and failure be gone? Lets discover this.
I wrote this originally on a wonderful blogger and friend’s blog at Meaningful Mama.
Today I find myself distraught, down on myself, torn a million ways and to be honest emotional. I was scanning my drafts and I found this article and figured these words were not only a good reminder to myself but maybe to you as well.
Let’s look into that cup of tea we call motherhood. WHAT IF just purely being present, loving your child, being imperfectly human and offering your hand in their journey in life IS ENOUGH?
What if your affection is enough and your presence as they sit on your lap while you pay bills or work is enough? What if your essence, your smell, the sound of your voice and your loving touch is enough? What if the gift of YOU as their mom with all your IMPERFECTION is ENOUGH?
If it were….and I believe IT IS… Mom Guilt would be banished.
That simple cup of tea… yes, you…Mom… will suffice.
My kids will kiss me and tell me they love me and how good I am often while inside I think, “No I’m not. ”
NO MORE. Mom guilt, I refuse you because you lie.
See, I’ve come through a bit of a dark cloud these last few weeks and what I’ve learned is the activities, the trips to the park, the baking sessions, the sports camps and efforts to DO MOM-hood are the cream. They are great, don’t get me wrong, but they are the lavish cream on the top of the tea your child already loves.
I am enough. You are enough. Love is enough and your best is enough.
I don’t write as a parenting guru ever. When I write about parenting I just lay my vulnerabilities out in hopes that another may relate, feel hope and can take a deep breath in and know… It’s gonna be OK.
Momma you are doing good.
Tears well up in my eyes as I write this because I needed to hear that. I have faith you do to.
I can not promise we will never face Mom Guilt again. I want to share 10 things I have learned to say to myself and am determined to say as I refuse guilt.
Positive Self Talk to Fight Mom Guilt
- My presence matters.
- My love is enough.
- My best differs with each day.
- Perfection is not needed, just persistence to love and teach.
- My “doing” is not required to be a good mom. It’s the cream not the tea.
- If I’m not quitting I’m succeeding.
- Mistakes are for learning and growing.
- ” Me-time” makes “their-time” better.
- I’m not guilty.
- Just breath.
Let’s refuse this Mom Guilt together and strive to just be there for our child with love and enjoy life more. Dovidenia. Xo